finally
finally, it was over and done with. i felt happy when it was over because i have been thinking all along that i'll be agonizing over it by the time i get to answer the last question. instead of feeling drained, i felt giddy. i was expecting that it will be so difficult that by the time i was taking it, i was in utter disbelief over how easy it was. i'm not bragging that i found it to be extremely easy, it just so happened that it was easier than the reviewers our review center had given us to study. i also had this belief that it will tire my brain and send it to shock over how nerve-wracking it's going to be.
it turned out i over-overestimated that particular exam because everyone around me was acting as if it's such a big, big deal. well, it is but i think i even kind of overprepared for it. i acted like it was some kind of board exam, managing my free time to study for it. the reason i did this was because i didn't want to blame myself in the end when i don't get my desired score. i didn't want any "what-if-i-studied-more" questions rattling in my brain. well, i think this did me good. i know now that whatever the outcome is, i will not be pulling my hair out and shrieking, knowing that i had not done my very best. because, believe me, i have.
God has definite plans for me and i know He will not let me down. He will show me the right path and i will follow it. now, all i have to do is to wait which is, for me, the truly agonizing part.
i am crossing my fingers, wishing, hoping and praying that i will not be disappointed. deep inside my heart though, i know i won't be. i did my best, i have nothing to be sullen about.
***thanks to everyone who bid me good luck. thanks for the support and the prayers. special mention to my mom, who called me up minutes before the exam, and to my hunnybun who served as my driver, assistant, cheerleader, masseuse and more during that memorable sunday. =)
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today marks the 6TH MONTH of irving and i together. i. am. so. happy. cheers to half a year of love, friendship and two animal babies! i have truly found my own penguin. (hehehe. we watched happy feet last friday. cute, cute movie!) =p
on top of my christmas/birthday wishlist is...
this handsome phone!
it has 8GB integrated hard-drive memory, can store up to 6000 songs, has a 2 megapixel camera, bluetooth, wi-fi, stereo speakers with 3d sound, 3G connectivity and the list of features go on and on! practically my dream phone for this season, that is. hehehe. =p
i'm going to name him, vinnie, the moment i get it later this month or in december. but, definitely, i'm getting it before my birthday. weeee!
so nicole richie
last weekend, my mom visited me here in manila, being that she has been staying in tuguegarao more often than here in the metropolis. she was surprised over how much weight i've lost and she kept on saying that i should be eating more because i was regularly working out at the gym. she was even complaining and getting worried that i might be sick or i might just faint because of not eating right. well, this is so nicole richie. hahahaha. on the contrary, i am eating right, but in moderate amounts. unlike before that i'd always go back for second, even fourth helpings of everything, i'd stop eating when i feel that i have had enough. i am eating adequately, i insisted.
inspite of my having my ideal weight which is good, she treated me out to lunch for the whole time she was here. (she left last night) at dinner, she kept on forcing me to eat second helpings and lots of dessert. she even went to the grocery store last monday and stocked up on plenty of my favorite sweets, chips and snacks. heck, she even bought like 8 gallons of milk for me to drink before going to sleep. plus, she bought this "bio-enzyme" syrup-like liquid for me to drink three times a day from a cup as big as a shot glass. this liquid is full of vitamins and minerals, she says. i think it's like eating eight oranges every time you drink a shot. hahaha. talk about vitamin-rich. =p
my mom is such a worrywart. she's acting like i've become nicole richie or something because she keeps on seeing her in ET and i've been telling her i like how nicole dresses. hahaha. anyway, though she worries too much, i find this sweet. she's also worried that i won't have the strength to study anymore so she wants me to load up on snacks. hahaha. oh, well. i'm definitely going to pig out later when i get home. =p
one, big fight
funny that on the day that manny pacquiao won one of the biggest fights of his boxing career, we also had one of, if not the, biggest fights of our relationship. i admit i do tend to be overly melodramatic to the point of being maudlin. but, i can't help it. he's close to perfect and it irks me every time i see even one of his flaws. i am still in denial that he is human and that he has imperfections of his own. despite the issue being shallow and quite a minor glitch, i overblew it to something bigger. yes, yes, i also tend to overreact. and instead of dealing with the anger i feel inside, i channel it to something evil. instead of sublimating it, i seek to hurt him, to make him feel worse than i do. when i accomplish this, it's only then that my anger subsides.
last night was supposed to be one of the times i sought to hurt him, pretty bad. but being the unconditional lover that he is, he stood by my side and calmed me down despite my selfish, really, really, hurtful outbursts. i got so mean i couldn't even believe what words were escaping from my lips. i wanted to sink the needle at the right spot, just where it really, really hurts. i didn't want to be at the losing end. there were tears and those tears satisfied me a bit. if he hurt me, i should hurt him more, i decided.
after a couple of hours, i finally relented. though i was all dressed up to go out to hurt him more, i stayed home. i started to feel pity for him. plus, my cold got the best of me and i was feeling sleepy already. feeling annoyed at missing the chance of hurting him more, i started yakking the night away with mean, uber mean words.
however, the big fight came to an end when i got tired talking and all i could do was stare daggers at him. upon doing this, i realized my ranting and raving were not worth it. i love this guy, i said to myself. i am, again, being childish and silly. the thing i was angry about didn't deserve this amount of time and magnitude of anger. the issue was practically a needle in a stack of hay. it was insignificant in the whole scheme of things. in short, i was acting downright stupid. and mean. and self-centered. worse, he didn't do anything wrong at all. i was creating my own ghosts, so to speak.
the fight soon came to a stop. a kiss happened and all is well again in the planet of vanilla smiles and strawberry kisses. next time, i have to remind myself not to be so stupid and irrational. oh, phooey.
psyching up
the clock is ticking. one week to go and i am about to be tested, mentally and emotionally. though i feel the pressure, especially from my mom, i am going to take it as calmly as i can. with no anxiety, expectations and ego. i am taking this as something i have to take, to finally see if that world is for me and if i am for that world.
i know i have made adequate preparations. now, fate will take charge. but in the end, i know, that i am the captain of my soul and the master of my fate. i. can. do. this. and i will, excel in it even.
this is for my future. i am taking a risk in something with purpose and meaning. now, that's something that doesn't happen to me everyday. i am praying that this risk will be worth taking. may the good Lord help me again, as he has been doing all those times that i take risks.
nothing can stop me now.
take me to the beach...
on my birthday.
i am ecstatic! hun and i are really, really going on my birthday weekend. FOR SURE. we're calling next week for reservations and getting a map on how to drive to laiya, batangas. ahahay. can my birthday get any better? not to mention fun-ner? =p
what a perfect way to end this wonderful year. life is great. =)
oh happy day
today is a glorious, wonderful day. i got some of the holiday bonuses today and i am now sure i can buy my mom an oh-so-shalei music component for christmas. she asked me for one when i asked what gift she wants for christmas this year because this is the first christmas ever that i have a job and my own money. i have been worrying about it ever since she told me but now, i'm so relieved that i can surely give her the gift she really wants.
i am now starting to feel the christmas spirit and sniff the air of the holidays! not to mention the excitement upon reaching my 22nd birthday. though i am now working, i am really, really positive that my mom and my favorite titas will give me their yearly, birthday cash gifts! ahahay. i am starting to finish my wishlist for this year and i know i'll be able to get them all. yey. yes, yes, i know. money can't buy happiness but i just turn giddy everytime i get a lot of stuff. =) besides, i know, even without these stuff on my wishlist, i will still be happy nonetheless. i have a great family, a loving boyfriend, caring friends and a job that both enlivens and sometimes, frustrates me. hehe. all is well. material things are just a bonus to my happy life.
to cap off this perfect day, i am getting a facial, pedicure and hair trim later. hey, i deserve to splurge. i have been getting out of bed extra early for the past couple of days so that i won't be late for work. the traffic is like hell, i tell you. it maybe because of the students going to school since the sembreak's over already. plus, i have been studying every night for a certain aptitude exam. i definitely need some pampering this week. =)
i'm so happy i wish i could bake a lot of cupcakes with yummy icing and give one to everyone i see. maybe i'd do that for my birthday..=)
cheers to everyone! this week is truly redeeming last week's sucky events.
glorious weekends
a lot has happened for the past few days that i haven't blogged. pfft. emman even said that with my lack of updates, my blog has already been swarming with flies. oh well, towel. things have become so hectic lately. i also had occasional mood swings which made me feel too lazy to blog. last week was quite abysmal and i kept repeating to myself that that week had to redeem itself on the weekend. i was wishing for a glorious weekend! though i thought things couldn't get any worse, my friday night witnessed a riot, a disaster involving people that were really, really close to me.
i finished off friday at work feeling a bit giddy because hun and i were going to a birthday celebration of one of my closest guy friends ever who also happened to be his diliman brod. i went home in high spirits and even ordered a chocolate marjolaine cake from red ribbon to bring to the drinking binge. after all, i love the birthday boy. as in, really. i waited for hun and we went to meatshop (yes, how nostalgic!) around 9pm. we had initially agreed that we'll head home at midnight because he had to wake up early for work. the party was fun, being that i was with people i haven't seen in ages again. the lively banter was there and there were still some of them teasing me from time to time though i can feel the restraint because unlike before, i now have a serious boyfriend who happens to be their brod (albeit heney and the others).
a little after midnight, chaos struck. a misunderstanding led to a bedlam, a brawl among my friends and some guys also in the place. bottles were flying everywhere. hun was even on the forefront hitting anyone who dared hurt any brod with chairs and tables. he was constantly on the surge and was acting really violent. ah, fratmen. what did i expect? diplomacy? nah. blood spurted and everyone had scratches and bruises while i was shouting myself hoarse calling hun to stop fighting. the brawl lasted for approximately 10 minutes. the guys from the other side soon trapped us inside meatshop shouting that we will never get out of the place alive. they were acting bigheaded and all because they held large knives from meatshop's kitchen that they had managed to snatch during the rumble. however, the police arrived shortly so the situation was calmed down.
we all agreed to congregate somewhere and upon leaving the place, i was shocked. i had been a meatshop mainstay so i couldn't believe my eyes. everything was cleared. there were no tables and chairs anymore but pieces of broken glass on the floor. the doors and glass panels were smashed and it looked like a tornado hit the place. hun was even slightly injured on his right hand. the night ended with us at the east avenue medical center, frustrated over the turn of events. the birthday boy was even injured on his face. tsk, tsk. plans of revenge were mentioned but i doubt it. we didn't even know who the guys really were in the first place. so much for the weekend redeeming the week. argh. i got home sad over what happened but a bit relieved that nobody was seriously injured. i also got lucky that i didn't get hurt or anything. ah, the perils of being close to fratmen and being in love with one. the only good thing that came out of this event is my full realization of how close i am to these guys. during their meeting at a brod's house before heading to east avenue medical center, i was the only girl there but they acknowledge my presence nonetheless. and everytime one of them leaves, he either shakes my hand or kisses me on the cheek even though i am not one of their sorority sisters. awwww..such sweet guys. hahaha. well, our shared experiences were so plenty it would definitely irk me if they weren't like that. =p
i slept for the whole morning of saturday because i was dead tired but i spent the afternoon at the gym and then with my brother at the arcade where we even tried the bump cars. i even treated him to his comfort food place, jollibee! hahaha. after dinner, hun and i did some studying at starbucks tomas morato to collect more stickers for the planner we are competing for! hehe.
sunday was blah. i spent the entire day at home watching tv and pigging out on sandwiches and fish crackers and coke! i also managed to study for a bit before sleeping. total grepalifing but i had trouble sleeping for the night. listening to satellite by dave matthews band and you're all i have by snow patrol on my ipod, law, easily brought me to slumber land though. (trivia: these are two of my most favorite songs of all time)
the weekend was a-ok but it didn't redeem that sucky week last week. hmmm..i hope this week will be better. oh, puhlease. and speaking of glorious weekends, i'm planning to go out of town on my birthday weekend with hun. i'm already looking on some beach resorts but this resort really caught my eye and my fancy, Virgin Beach Resort. click the link to check it out. i'm definitely going on my 22nd birthday on the 15th of december! =p oh, glorious birthday weekend! i surely need the catharsis and the detox.
